The Groom

Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew

There are certain things us chaps wish all women knew. Ahead of your wedding it might be worth seeing how things bear up in your home. However whether you’re brave enough to explain any of these to your intended is entirely up to you.


Most guys own three pairs of shoes, tops. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair of shoes to wear with that dress?

If you think you “look fat in this” you probably do, do not ask us we refuse to answer.

If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

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Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument against us. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

Birthdays, valentines and anniversaries are not quests to find the perfect present yet again.

Do not ask us what we are thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as, belly button fluff, the Spurs back four and the new Ford 4x4.

Saturday = Football. It’s like the full moon, the changing of the tides, just let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport.

When we’re running late already absolutely anything you wear is fine.

You have enough clothes. You have far too many shoes.

Rules that guys wish girls knew

But your ex-boyfriend was a dickhead.

When we’re running late already absolutely anything you wear is fine.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one; subtle hints do not work, strong hints do not work, obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

No, we do not know what day it is. Mark anniversaries clearly on a calendar or tattoo them onto our foreheads.

When we’re running late already absolutely anything you wear is fine.

But your ex-boyfriend was a dickhead.

When we’re running late already absolutely anything you wear is fine.

If we ask what is wrong and you say “Nothing” then we will assume that nothing is wrong. That’s how conversation works!!!

If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry then we meant the other one.

Let us ogle, we’re going to look anyway.

Either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know why didn’t you do it?!?

Whenever possible please say what you have to say during the commercials.

Sir Walter Raleigh never stopped and asked for directions and neither will we.

Women wearing low cut tops and wonder-bras lose their right to complain about men looking at their boobs.

Yes we love you but sometimes we are not thinking about you. It’s really not that big a deal.

Men only see in 16 different shades like Windows default settings. Peach is not a colour neither is terracotta and we have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches it will be scratched. We do that.

Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.

We are not mind readers and never will be. Our lack of telepathy is not an proof that we don’t love you or that your mother was right all along.

If we ask what is wrong and you say “Nothing” then we will assume that nothing is wrong. That’s how conversation works!!!

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